Mothers-Don’t give up

Mother.

I think I often take for granted how strong I am as a mother and how deep my influence is. I think about how I change diapers, wash in between his toes, scrub his hair, and spread the peanut butter on his sandwiches, and wonder if what I say is even sinking in.

“Am I even making a difference? Will he remember what I’m trying to teach?”

For the first few months as a mother, I almost felt like my efforts were in vain. I talked, giggled, laughed, read to, and sang to my son that was almost completely unresponsive. I held on conversations with him, even though he didn’t answer back; I told him my deepest dreams while we played; I told him of my deepest convictions–yet nothing. I almost felt silly at times. On the surface, it seemed there was no hint of understanding.

Mothers-Don't give up

Then, he began to talk. He began to respond. Now he even talks back and we can carry on a conversation. But, now I almost wonder if he hears me when I tell him how much I believe in God, how I know He hears my prayers, how I feel peace when I read His word. He runs from toy to toy and it feels like the words of my heart go in one ear and out the other–and that’s if I get lucky and they even get in the first ear at all.

But, despite all this, I have the firmest belief that in some small way he understands. He may not hear my words or listen to a complete sentence I say–but he sees me day in and day out. He sees that I care about people, he knows that I invite him to pray with me when I’m about to lose it and need extra strength, he knows that every night-without fail-we read God’s word.

We live our beliefs.

I have to think that someday he’ll look back and it will sink in–it will sink in deep.

I hope with all my heart it does.

I know that as a mother, my daily actions have more power than I realize, even if it seems like he’s not listening, we’re both crying, and there is peanut butter in everyone’s hair. I know that the simple things I do, that I feel go unnoticed–are not.

The things you do don’t go unnoticed either.

When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? – Neal A. Maxwell

Mom’s lets remember the influence we have. Let’s remember that the words we speak, the songs we sing, and hugs we give don’t go unnoticed–even if our babies are speechless and our kids run around like crazies. Because what a sad thing it would be if we gave up–if we looked around amid the chaos and threw in the towel.

Momma–don’t give up. Keep talking to your babe who can’t talk back and keep teaching that child who doesn’t have a moment to listen. Because soon, they’ll know and we’ll be glad we taught with our hearts and didn’t give up.

Sacredness of Intimacy

This week my mind has been blown, boggled, and awe-inspired all at once. Sometimes I read an article and I’m relatively unchanged by it’s contents, but then sometimes I come across an article that dives into my heart and makes waves that last for days.

I can’t shake this last article I read and the feeling it has brought over me. Check out the article HERE.

Sacredness of life

The main premise? Marital intimacy is a sacrament that we experience with our spouse and God. Sacraments are moments in time when we come to God and feel his holy presence. We partake of a holy experience with Him. There are few times in life when we get more close to divinity itself, then when we join with our spouse with the potential to create. And not just to create anything… but to create a living, breathing, loving, dreaming human being.

This concept boggles my mind.

“You and I who can make neither mountain nor moonlight, not one raindrop nor a single rose–yet we have this greater gift in an absolutely unlimited way. And the only control placed on us is self-control–self-control born of respect for the divine sacramental power it is.

Surely God’s trust in us to respect this future-forming gift is awesomely staggering. We who may not be able to repair a bicycle nor assemble an average jigsaw puzzle–yet with all our weaknesses and imperfections, we carry this procreative power that makes us very much like God in at least one grand and majestic way.”

This quote is the essence of my thoughts. I cannot believe that me–so very imperfect– and quite unable to put together a rubiks cube–am right this minute creating fingers and toes, a nervous system, eyes to see the sunrise, and ears to hear birds and someday my goodnight lullaby.

sacredness of marital intimacy

I’m so profoundly grateful to a God who lets me come closer to Him through this sacrament. This time when I feel His guiding hand and love so powerfully. Surely, intimacy is sacred, the creation of life is sacred, and I’m humbled that even I, as imperfect and weak of a vessel I am, can take a part in this magnificent sacrament.

He’s really there.

Oh, it’s been a while since one of these drafts has been published. It’s been a while since I’ve written a couple sentences and felt that they flowed, were natural, and were all complete sentences. Thank you to those who sent me messages to check up on me and see how I was doing. Those words meant so much to me.

Frazzled.

chicken

Don’t ask why I thought this was hilarious!

That’s probably the most fitting adjective for me these days. I’ve heard the term “running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off” and I’ve realized that it’s alarmingly accurate.

Life is busy, and I often feel torn between wanting to give more to my son, but feeling empty myself. It’s hard to be taking 3 classes and still being a mom. It makes me think of all those working mom’s, all the single mom’s, and all the mom’s who may not be single, but feel they are going at it alone. I cannot imagine the sheer exhaustion. I have the utmost respect for you. You are incredible.

But, we keep going, right? We realize we’re stronger than we thought, and that our souls can weather storms we hadn’t conceived before. We do our best, at times feeling like a failure and we move forward loving our family the best we know how.  Luckily, there is a loving God.

I feel God is very intimately involved in this motherhood journey of ours, whether we have children or not yet. He sees our sorrows and our yearning hearts. He’s near our side in the middle of the nights. He’s stroking our hair when we cry out at night from exhaustion and loneliness. He’s right by our side when we struggle to conceive. He listens intently to our prayers we send up to Him and answers them in His time and way.

A picture I drew in High School that brought peace to my soul.

A picture I drew in High School that brought peace to my soul.

He’s really there. In my times of deepest sorrow, I often pray for the ability to feel His warm and loving embrace. In those moments I feel the deepest sense of comfort and love just surround me.

He’s really there.

Girls, we got this. We got this crazy, mixed-up, altered plans, hurt hearts, exhilarating life. We got this, because He is really there.

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If you are interested in finding more bloggers, I linked some of the blogging women who have inspired me to be stronger and rely on God. Really, they are my friends. If you want some inspiration and a dose of straight-talk, real life, then stop by their blogs to meet them.

In alphabetical order: A Babbling Brooke, Catching Crawfish, Chloe Kepner, Invited by Grace, Light the Lie, MomLife Now, Natalie Brenner, Noelle B. Blogs and Three Boys and a Mom

*ALSO, since life is much busier and it’s harder for me to sit down and blog as often, I would love if you would follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter to get more daily updates. 🙂 Thank you for being apart of my life!

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Mommy’s Relationship with God

Life as a mom is crazy. Perpetual laundry, continual meals, grocery shopping, running around after kids, changing diapers, and supporting our husbands. If we are lucky, some sleep and potential “mom” time. So many of our relationships as mothers seem pressing. (The baby is screaming!) As a result of this hectic load, my relationship with God has often been lost in the mix. It makes sense—it is not usually pressing like, a diaper leaking poo on the carpet, no more clean clothes in the closet to wear, or my husband who needs encouragement after a hard day at work. Nonetheless, I often desire and feel the need to have a stronger connection with God.

During my single years my schedule was rather predictable. I could wake up when scheduled, get down on my knees and say an uninterrupted prayer, quietly read my scriptures when planned, and spontaneously write in my journal when I had an enlightening thought. My spiritual life was rather on track and I felt a great connection with God. But, when I got married and had my first child, all of a sudden it was harder to continue the habits which kept me close to God. My patterns were changed and my life no longer consisted of me, but included others. Ironically, this time of life seems to be when I need, but have the littlest time to set aside for Him.

This was very troublesome to me. I wanted a strong relationship with God. But, whenever I tried to become closer to God, exhaustion kicked in as soon as the noise quieted and I had time to myself. I seemed to be falling asleep during every one of my scripture studies and having the strength to get on my knees seemed harder than ever.

After feeling guilty for a while, I realized even though my life had changed in almost every conceivable way, my expectations had not. In my mind, having a connection with God meant following a cookie-cutter pattern involving uninterrupted, quiet time reading my scriptures and prayer. For me that was not happening at all. It wasn’t until I began talking to my older sister one day that my perception changed: It isn’t following some one-size-fits-all plan that keeps me close to God. It is being intentional and making time for God in my life. Being flexible and creating new habits that can continue to strengthen my closeness to God.

What my spiritual habits looked like when I was single look completely different than my spiritual habits now, with a husband and little boy. But, my connection with God is still growing. I can feel the peace and connection to God I crave. Here is what I am learning:

Be intentional. Even the best intentions can fall through when we feel spirituality will somehow work its way into our lives. Or our previous spirituality will always carry us through. No, our relationship with God seems to be similar to others; the blessings of close relationships fade as we communicate less. We should intentionally seek out ways that will facilitate daily spiritual nourishment and closeness to God.

 Smartphone with cloud of application iconsLook online for great websites or apps that have a collection of spiritual talks or scriptures to read conveniently. I recently searched religious apps available and was blow away at the amount of apps available for free. Scripture study can be as easy as installing an app into your phone. Find an app/website that you like and share your findings with those around you!

Incorporate God into daily tasks. My most recent success has been listening to spiritual talks or scriptures while doing daily tasks. For example, folding laundry, making dinner, doing the dishes, getting dressed, or doing my hair and make-up. These are often tasks that become so second nature I can practically do them while sleeping. In my experience, doing the simple task actually keeps my mind awake and alert so I don’t fall asleep, making these moments great for pondering on spiritual things.

After a lot of trial and error, I know it is possible to be a young mother and still have a strong relationship with God. At times it has seemed I simply did not have time, or was too exhausted to work on this relationship. However, I have learned that my spirituality is the gel that holds me together when I feel like I am about to fall apart. It is the glue that keeps me and my husband together during hard times. It strengthens our family.

This quote by Linda K. Reeves, changed my life: “Because I know from my own experiences, and those of my husband, I must testify of the blessings of daily scripture study and prayer and weekly family home evening. These are the very practices that help take away stress, give direction to our lives, and add protection to our homes.[1]” (emphasis added.)

 

Question: How is your current relationship with God? Do you feel close to Him or wish that your relationship was stronger?

Challenge: Look for the moments during your day that you can intentionally put aside time to strengthen your relationship with God.