Pains fade

For the last couple weeks I’ve been very reflective. All the sights, smells, and colors of fall have taken me back to the sights, smells, memories, and colors of last fall and all we were experiencing. This is what I wrote on my blog in my post Moving. It’s a roller coaster.

Today my soul is not soaring through the clouds. Instead, it is somewhere between my knees and the ground. Our little family is currently in the midst of moving. We just recently found out we need to be out of our current house in one month and we have yet to find another place to live.

Then, in November while we were still in the middle of our moving adventure I wrote this from my post When life looks bleak:

Many of you know that mid-September and October were difficult for our family. We were told we needed to move in one month, but we were having a difficult time finding another place to live. Things kept falling through, while my anxiety started to rise through the roof.

Moving was a serious roller coaster. I remember readers commenting about how everything would work out; how there was beauty and happiness in store. But honestly, at the time I wasn’t seeing the glimmer; I wasn’t seeing the break in my stormy skies. All I saw was bleak and grey.

This really was a trying time for me. I think many can relate when I say that not knowing where you are going to live is hard. And when there is kids involved and a short time frame, it seems even more stressful. Uncertainty is not something I’m keen on or great with dealing with, and all of last fall was marked by uncertainties.

But this last month or so, I’ve been awestruck by how life has moved on and how the pain of that time period has faded so dramatically. While in the trenches of last year I hit some of my all time lows emotionally, and now I feel like my life is hitting some of it’s all-time highs. It is a testament to me of how there are truly good things to come in life. No matter how deep in the trenches we feel and how certain we are that there really is no light at the end of the tunnel–just more deep darkness–there most certainly IS. There is undoubtedly hope, happiness, and most likely, some of the best times ahead down the tunnels that appear pitch black.

Last year I felt like my holidays were all over the place. Our life was marked by packing and unpacking, only to pack and unpack again. I was lonely for friends and feeling completely unsure. This year, I’m decorating my house, preparing for our sweet girl who has lived in my heart for years, and enjoying the peace and stability of life.

Fall Collage

This year

I know many may not be in those times of certainty today. Perhaps your road is leading now to a tunnel that seems unbearable, lonely, and pitch black. But, I’m hear to tell ya, that hard times do pass. The pain of yesteryear’s do fade. To my past self, the clouds did break. There really was happiness ahead. I’m living proof to myself that the happiness is here and times do get better.