Weeds grow easy

Ever notice how weeds don’t seem to need any encouragement to grow? But beautiful flowers, plants and trees do? I never see anyone outside watering their weeds, because none are growing. Or pulling out flowers, because “they just had too many and they were growing too fast.” Neither do I hear anyone exclaim that they “just don’t have weeds.”

weeds growing in the dirt

It seems that weeds grow spontaneously and flowers need encouragement.

The same is true for our souls.

At one time or another, we each have an annoying habit, distraction, or temptation, a weed, that comes without invitation into our life. It takes continual effort on our part, for our good habits, or flowers, to grow.

Right now the weed in my life is fear. This last week as I was going through the roller coaster of emotions that moving has brought, I realized fear immediately came into my heart. All the “what if’s” surrounded my head like a hazy cloud making it difficult to see my options clearly and make a decision.

What if we don’t find a place to live?
What if that apartment doesn’t fit our needs?
What if we can’t move in at the right time?
What if, what if, what if…..

My weed of fear started overrunning my soul. I didn’t need to invite my fears–they just came. It wasn’t until I decided to trust in the future, that I found peace. It took effort on my part to intentionally pull out the weeds and water the flowers of trust and faith.

Flowers need water, they need sun, they need love; so do the positive perspectives and attitudes we want in our lives. They don’t just grow, unfortunately.

small plants growing with a structure to help them grow.

The little flowers in our garden we are helping to grow. Giving them structure and attention.

Weeds can be anything in our lives: feeling down about ourselves, body image, a hard relationship, or fear. How do you get rid of the weeds in your life? How do you nurture the flowers and good things in your life? I would love to hear your thoughts!

Feature: J House VLOGS

This is an exciting day for me! I am featuring some of my favorite people and their addicting VLOG. What is a vlog? It is a blog, except the medium is video. My dear, sweet, hilarious sister, Kendra, and her cute family have a Family Vlog. They upload their videos onto Youtube everyday, and let me tell you– it is absolutely hilarious, touching, sweet, real, and puts into a short video what real life with kids is all about.

Why have a family vlog? In their words:

“We are posting family vlogs on YouTube. With 4 little kiddos and time flying so fast, we want to capture some of these amazing moments in life.”

J House Vlogs

Click on the picture to find their Youtube Channel J House Vlogs, see their latest videos, and meet their adorable family!

A little bit about J House Vlogs. Kendra is a Stay at home mom, who in another life worked as a Labor and Delivery Nurse. She is just downright hilarious, so sensitive, and has a major love for cookies. Her husband, Jeremy, is a talented lawyer, sports enthusiast, and one of the most genuine people I have met. Their kids are extremely passionate, sweet, energetic, and determined. They are currently in their first year of homeschooling their kids.

If you want a little sneak peak into their lives, check out this video!

Moving. It’s a roller coaster.

Today my soul is not soaring through the clouds. Instead, it is somewhere between my knees and the ground. Our little family is currently in the midst of moving. We just recently found out we need to be out of our current house in one month and we have yet to find another place to live.

picture of a roller coaster with lots of loopsThings keep not working out and it seems that plan after plan is going out the window. My conclusion? Moving is like jumping on a roller coaster. I’m going to strap myself in, throw my hands in the air, and feel the whole range of emotions. Everything from deep sadness and loss, to excitement and anticipation. It’s like a mystery novel… where will we end up next??

As I was feeling quite weighed down today, this quote came to mind.
dont quitAs confused as I feel right now, as worried as I am about what the future will hold, as discouraged as I am feeling– there are good things to come. There always are.

So for the rest of tonight and this adventure, I’m going to keep reminding myself to “Trust God and believe in good things to come.”

Chances are, your married friend still likes you

It’s true. Chances are, despite the delayed response to texts, less girl’s nights, or time on the phone, your married friend still likes you.

Recently, I read a popular article, Why It Doesn’t Matter How You Feel About Your Friends. I highly encourage taking the time to read it. The main idea is that real friends show they care. They do friendly things such as send texts, get together, and talk. While I completely agree and identify with this, I feel there is something missing. Mainly, understanding and compassion. I also feel like viewing relationships in this way can induce a lot of guilt in people who are already having a hard time — not good. Life is not so cut and dry.

Middle fingers with happy faces drawn on, to appear as friendsThink back to junior high

For me, this was my first big dip into making friends. Before this I would have friends over to my house from my class, club, or team, but it was very low key. Junior high was the big leagues. It was then that I really started understanding what it meant to be a friend. I made lots of slip ups. I gossiped, shared secrets that should have been kept to myself, and gave people the silent treatment. I made my fair share of mistakes. But somehow we all look back on junior high as a time when we were still “figuring it out.” We forgive each other. We understand.

For me, shortly after getting married was my second “junior high” experience. I was stressed and emotionally drained. I was putting my whole self into my marriage trying to make it work. Again, after having my son, I was adjusting to a little person relying on me for everything, along with being the most tired I’ve ever been in my life. I craved good friendships, but didn’t understand how friends fit in. Call me a deer in the headlights, because that is exactly what I was.

I never knew how to balance my relationships and commitments. Do I put a lot of effort into keeping old friends? Do I throw myself into making new friends? How much time do I reserve for my spouse? What if friends are only available during the short time my spouse and I are both free? What should I do about that? These were all brand new situations to me.

I know I didn’t handle my friendships well as a newly wed or a new momma. In fact, I’ll be the first to say I cared for my friends, but didn’t show it. Does that mean my feelings of care were wasted? Does being a friend only matter if you are showing or doing something?

It is not that black and white. I really feel there must be a balance.

I wish the same forgiveness and understanding we extend to others for mess ups in junior high would be true for people going through big life changes. Moving away to college, getting married, becoming a parent, or getting a new job are all examples. These are periods when our time and priorities shift. We tend to underestimate how confusing it can be to balance our friendships.

At times, being a friend means extending forgiveness when a friend is trying to figure things out. It’s understanding when they are less responsive. It’s assuming the best of your friend. Because assuming the best of a person is needed in every relationship.

So be kind.

Be kind and understanding to those newly weds who seem so caught up in themselves. Be kind to that new momma with bags under her eyes and spit up on her shirt.  Believe that they like you. Be understanding if they aren’t getting back to you. Because, chances are, they care about you more than you know, they’re more confused than you’ll ever know, and your forgiveness would mean more to them than you’ll ever know.