These relationships really do matter

This week I had some interesting realizations about being a mother; they happened to not only be useful, but extremely timely. Lately with starting school and Sam beginning to work full-time, it seems the days drag on and I feel like a puppy waiting at the door for Sam.

I started to feel like life was going to be an accumulation of day-in, day-out laundry, messes, odoriferous dishes, and playing the same games over and over with my son, Parker, that were less than mentally stimulating. Honestly, life seemed boring and lacking purpose.

Then I started reading an article for my parenting class by Dr. Bruce K. Satterfield called “The Family Under Siege: The Role of Man and Woman” about the purpose of family. Thankfully, my thoughts changed.

These relationships matter2These relationships really do matter.

As a mom, I am not just taking care of my boy and making sure he is entertained all day—I am becoming someone; someone more loving, less selfish, and more compassionate. My family and I are on a journey together and we are preparing to live together for eternities. We are practicing virtues, while simultaneously trying to purge ourselves of qualities and characteristics we don’t love about ourselves. Suddenly, parenting, even my marriage, doesn’t lack purpose–it is full of purpose.

Internalizing this idea has really changed the last few days for me. I feel like I’m taking more joy in playing with Parker. No, I’m not just playing with him so he won’t cry; I’m playing with him because I want to. I want to make memories with him. We are building a bond. 

No, I’m not just doing my umpteenth load of laundry this week; I’m practicing to keep a clean environment that invites God and brings us peace at home. No, I’m not just picking up after my husband and grumbling about it; I’m showing I care and realizing we are a team—he’s had a hard week, too, so I don’t need to tally up the offenses he’s “committed” against me.

These relationships really do matter.

They matter not just because we’re connected on paper through birth certificates and tax records, but because we’re helping each other become better and grow. When I think about my little family, these relationships, extending further than this life, I care more and I love more.

How have you learned to find meaning in your family relationships? Do you believe in family relationships continuing after this life? I would love to hear your thoughts and beliefs!

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10 thoughts on “These relationships really do matter

  1. Marla, I love this perspective that you’re not just doing boring things, but instead growing and becoming someone new. That’s so wonderful. And the way you were feeling about Parker and the not-so-stimulating games, etc…..I had those feelings with my 2nd child born so long after my first….like I had done all this and had seen all this and why did I need to exert that effort a second time, etc. But you know… second child was a whole new person and very very different from my first. It actually became something of a game to see how differently he would react to something I had done with my first one that I did again with him. In that way, I really got to know both my sons alot better! And….it was also most interesting that that 2nd child totally changed the tone of our household and even the way we parented. I learned so much the 2nd time around because I had all the basics down from the first time and I am definitely a totally different girl and parent than I was before him. Life with kids is just full of surprises!

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    • I love what you said, Torrie! Parenting and family life can be so exhilarating and full of surprises if we jump in and allow ourselves to enjoy. I am excited for when we have a second at some point to see the differences between the two kids. It will be fun to see. 🙂 love your perspective on parenting! And yes, Ieven though I have just embarked on my parenting journey, I feel I am changing from who I was and becoming better! Life sure is wonderful and molds us 🙂


    • Thank you so much, Tricia. It has been a good reminder for me to enjoy my daily life with my family more. Families are pretty special 🙂 I hope you are doing well and thank you for dropping by my blog!

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  2. Oh my goodness, sometimes it really does feel like monotonous work. But you are so right. It really does matter! And being a mom, being part of a family, has a way of molding us into something we couldn’t become without it. Someone so much less selfish, so much more in tune, and so much more compassionate. We are a part of something so amazing! A friend of mine just told me yesterday how her daughter was asking her husband what he did at work that day. The dad responded, “My boss asked me to write down all that I had accomplished that week, and when I did I realized that I was really productive and I felt good about all that I had got done!” My friend’s daughter responded, “Oh, so you were being like mommy!” It’s easy to sell ourselves short. What we do is SO important. A time will come when we can do different things and foccus on other aspects of life, but now this is our purpose. And it is BEAUTIFUL! As always, your post is so timely. I love reading them. 🙂

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  3. Such good food for thought! I have to remind myself (a lot!) that the menfolk who live with me are not really out to get me when they leave their dishes in the sink or laundry in the washer..! It’s alllll about how you look at things and I think I’m going to go reread your post and get down to doing a little perspective shifting : )

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  4. I have found myself writing about this exact topic in the past. Being a mommy is hard! It’s all about our heart posture. Are we seeing what we can get out of a relationship or what we can give? When we focus on what we can give… we are so much more thankful! I bet you are a pro at the laundry, and I’m sure Parker loves nothing more than the games he gets to play with his mommy 🙂 I know our husbands are happy to come home to a clean house and a meal.. who wouldn’t be? haha Great post!!

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