Motherhood doesn’t just happen

I used to believe motherhood would just happen to me.

We celebrate Mother’s Day as the day we were made a mom–when our first child entered our arms and graced our lives.

It’s the day we became a mother.


Although that is technically true, I have to say my Mother’s Day is not the second Sunday in May, or the day my son was born, but instead an ordinary day in December.

I remember it clearly. It was at the end of my first semester back to school after having Parker. Sam and Parker were both very sick. To top it off, Sam and I were busy as well–swamped with both our jobs and end of the year projects.

I was up in the middle of the night, rocking my sick baby who was struggling to sleep, and all of a sudden things changed for me. It was like a lightning bolt. All of a sudden I was ready to be a mom. I was ready to put my family first. As strange as it is to admit, for the first time, I cared more about Sam and Parker, than I did about my schooling, my goals, or my dreams.

That is when I decided to be a mom.

Yes, my boy had come 8 months before. But this is when I changed from being his primary caregiver, to his mother; when I decided I’d rather be mom than anything else. 

No matter when we became a mom, if the birth was planned or not, we need to choose motherhood–choose that our children, their hearts, and their lives are more important. It seems that to really embrace motherhood, we need to let go of some things. Because at least in my life, my family just wanted me, not my accomplishments, my degree, or anything else.

Was motherhood a natural transition for you, or did it take you a while to feel like a mother? How have you learned to sacrifice and make your family your first priority? I would love to hear about your experiences as well as your advice!

15 thoughts on “Motherhood doesn’t just happen

  1. I love this Marla! it’s hard to admit that motherhood did not necessarily click the second they placed him in your arms. what a beautiful moment for you when it sunk in completely…. I’m sure you were a wonderful mother for those 8 months, but I am positive that from that moment forward you’ve been the best mom in the world for Parker. Each day as a mom is a growing experience. Its the most important job we will ever have, so no matter what else you ever do you have already accomplished your calling in life. Sam and Parker are lucky men to have you!

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    • Rachael, your words really touched me. I am so glad that motherhood did sink in, even if it was 8 months after. And I do feel like I am a different mom than I was, which I’m grateful for! Each day of being a mom is a different experience, which is something I love. And I look forward to all the experiences I will have. And I couldn’t agree more, Rachael. Being a mom makes me feel fulfilled in ways I never imagined. I do feel like motherhood is my responsibility and absolutely blessing in this life 🙂 I hope you are doing well, Rachael!!

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  2. I was JUST talking to my husband about this last night! Motherhood seems like it should be something so innate, so natural. And in lots of ways it is, but something inside of you has to take place, making that decision that motherhood Is the most important thing. It was not easy for me either at first either. I have a good friend who is seriously struggling with this right now and I so much wish I could help her. I’ve decided I need to do more with her to help her through the rough days, but what helped you? I’m not sure if there’s more I can do. I feel like it’s something lots of moms struggle with, especially at first, but we are ashamed to admit it.

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    • Chelsi, I SO agree. It really is a choice. Some of the feelings of motherhood were innate to me–the natural care, love, and protectiveness was there from the get go. But, the ability and desire and let his needs trump mine didn’t come until that night 8 months later. I think for me, I had the desire in my heart, but I was overcome with busyness. I really do feel like God gave me a HUGE and very clear wake up call. I don’t want to say it was stern, because it was so full of love, but it was one of the most clear promptings of my life. 🙂 So for your friends, it is hard. So much of it is out of our control. But, deciding to slow down really helped open my eyes. I;m so glad you are there for your friend–she is blessed 🙂


  3. Marla, your love for Parker is so evident. You have a beautiful momma heart. Thank you for your honesty in this post. Each mother’s journey is unique, but I think each mom would agree that motherhood is life changing. I’ve wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember, but when I first had my son it took a while for it to sink in that I was actually really a mom–the little life I was holding in my arms was my son! It felt surreal. I remember feeling this weight of responsibility…what if I mess things up? Motherhood has taught me so much already and it’s one of the greatest gifts to be called Mommy!

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    • Thank you so much, Hannah. Your words are always weaved so beautifully together and tied with a bow of kindness. It is so freeing for me to be honest about my bumpy road of motherhood and I hope it frees other momma’s who feel they aren’t the perfect mother either. Because even though much of motherhood was natural, lots of it hasn’t been. Just like you, it took me a while to let things sink in. But, oh how grateful I am to be a mother. It is teaching me new things all the time. Thank you for your sweet comment, Hannah! 🙂


  4. What a great post, and I can completely relate. My transition to motherhood was very similar to your experience–it happened gradually, but once it did, it felt liberating. You’re right in saying that motherhood makes your priorities shift, and the once important things (career, education, etc…) takes a back seat to the little tiny thing that depends on you. And it feels so good to realize that. Thanks for sharing this, Marla.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m so glad you can relate to this post, Maria. It is amazing how a switch must take place in our minds. Until we flip the switch, motherhood seems to be an even bigger struggle. But, just like you said, it feels so good when we realize where our priorities need to be and we put things in place. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts 🙂 Happy Sunday!


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  6. What a great post! I would have to agree that the times I have realized my calling to be a mom the most have been when my daughter has been sick. I think having that deep understanding of knowing we are truly needed causes is to go all in. Being a mom is the most joy and most stress I think one can have. It is such a gift ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Emily, I couldn’t agree more. The depth of our trials can help us figure out our deepest problems and put things in their proper place. Isn’t it true that being a mom is the highest of highs and lowest of lows. But, it is definitely a wonderful blessing. 🙂 I’m so glad you are feeling better and are blogging again!

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  7. I was going to be a career-woman and tried going back to work part-time about six months after both my first and second sons were born. Then when I became pregnant with my third I resigned from being the career-woman for the next twenty years!
    Motherhood became my “career”.
    I never regretted my decision for a single moment.

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