Don’t measure YOU

Title "Don't measure YOU" next to wooden ruler.We are in the midst of trying to buy a house and move…again. It is such a long story but we may in fact be moving again in November. {Whew.} Through this time of moving limbo we have been trying to arrange financing. Last night as I was feeling emotionally empty and overwhelmed by all the numbers swirling in my head, I lost it. I lost my composure with my family and was NOT the person I wished I would have been. Sadly.

Waking up this morning after a good nights sleep, I realized I don’t want to let this slip-up define me. I definitely want to makes things better, but in the end, I’m not worth less because of my mistake. In fact, I can’t even measure my worth.

Things I can measure are endless–three cups of flour for the cookies, how many cookies I ate after they came out of the oven, an hour play date, the shoe size I wear,  or how much a gallon of gas costs. But one thing I have realized I should not even attempt to measure?

Myself.

My worth does not fluctuate daily. In fact, the day I was born I was worth an innumerable amount and to this day–it hasn’t changed. Nor will it ever change. It won’t change for you either. No matter if I feel like I botched motherhood yesterday, wasn’t the kind of friend I hoped, forgot about a meeting and left someone hanging, or even if I feel I acted in a way that could never be forgiven…

I am still worth the same amount.

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Our worth never changes. Even when I botch motherhood some days, I’m still worth my full 20 dollars.

“One woman who had been through years of trial and sorrow said through her tears, “I have come to realize that I am like an old 20-dollar bill—crumpled, torn, dirty, abused, and scarred. But I am still a 20-dollar bill. I am worth something. Even though I may not look like much and even though I have been battered and used, I am still worth the full 20 dollars.”’
Dieter Uchtdorf

No matter how down we may feel about ourselves, no matter how vulnerable or small we may feel in comparison to others. We are all still worth our full 20-dollars.

“There is nothing so rewarding as to make people realize that they are worthwhile in this world.”- Bob Anderson

How do you remind yourself of your innate worth? How have you learned self-love that transcends the daily slip-ups you make? I would be so interested to hear what helps you!

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37 thoughts on “Don’t measure YOU

  1. I’m not even a mother, but I feel this deep. I have a hard time loving myself. It helps having friends who remind me on a daily basis how valuable I am not only to them, but to Jesus. I need this reminder 24/7, it seems lately.

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    • Julia, this post is written for you every bit as much as it was for a mother. It applies to all of us. Can I say that you amaze me? We are each given trials and mountains to clime in life. Some that seem impossible. But, I am so impressed with who you are. You are of so much worth. No matter what. And its okay if you need to hear it more now than usual. We all have times when we get to lean on others more. You are loved and needed in this world. Thank you for touching my world and for sharing your goodness on my blog 🙂

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      • I want to give you a hug (much like I want to give everyone a hug I’ve met through my blog). Thank you for feeling silly enough to reply to comment to Emily. You are beatiful. If you ever feel like adding someone to the sisters you’ve met through this blog, I’d love to get to know you more. 🙂

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      • I also am so glad we met through, Emily! And of course, Julia! There is always more room for another sister 🙂 I so look forward to continuing to get to know you!

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  2. That would be me (the old, crumpled $20 bill)…that’s how I feel most days anyway. But you’re right…..we’re still a $20.00 bill! Hooray! Seriously though….don’t beat yourself up too much…..it’s important that kids know their parents are human and that they are fragile and don’t always know which was is up. Your job is to prepare them for life, not to raise them in Disneyland, you know? Don’t set the bar so high they can never achieve it…..knowing you falter is real life. I don’t think you’re the kind of person interested in raising cookie-cutter children….I’m pretty sure you want real kids that can live in a real world with real problems and real triumphs. Kind of like their mother, yes? 🙂

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    • Exactly, Torrie! I love how you put that. I’m definitely not planning to raise my child to live in Disneyland, where fairy princesses walk the cobble street roads. We are each imperfect and I want my kids to know that is okay and expected that we will make slip ups! Thank you for sharing your perspective. 🙂

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  3. Psalm 139 is a favorite verse of mine because it’s all about our true worth — in Him. In a world that often clouds our view, it can be challenging to remember that we aren’t defined by how well we think we measure up. When God looks at us, He sees us as His beautiful creation — fearfully and wonderfully made. Focusing on that truth helps me through the times when I feel down about making a mistake, not excelling at something, or like I’m just not that valuable. We mean so much to Him, no matter how much we may fail…His love for us remains the same. Thanks for your insight, Marla!

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    • Thank you so much for sharing what uplifts you, Hannah! I went and read Psalms 139. What a beautiful set of verses. It is amazing how God knows everything about us. More than anyone, He knows who we are. Right down to our thoughts and our actions. He has been with us in our lowest of lows and highest of highs. And through it all He loves us. You are right, He sees us as His priced creations. Thank you so much for sharing, Hannah. I hope to one day be as well-versed in the scriptures as you. It is amazing that a verse can come to you. Thank you 🙂

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    • Rachel, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I can completely identify with the feelings you expressed. Sometimes I am just not who I wish I could be. I seem to not be measuring up… But really God loves us with our faults and He will love us even with our piles of laundry and crazy emotions. Thank you for stopping by again 🙂

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  4. Such sweet smiles from you and Parker! Wow … it sounds so busy for your little family. Moving, buying a house, etc … I know it is a lot to think about! You are right that our worth is immeasurable, innately so, because God loves us. 😉 Something to hold on to when the world constantly holds a ruler up to us … and our kids! 😦

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    • It is busy around here. But weirdly enough, except for a couple high stress moments, I am feeling very peaceful. I finally turned the move over to God and since… It has been much better. And yes, it is so comforting to know that God loves us no matter what. He doesn’t hold a ruler up to us to see if we make the cut. He loves us unconditionally. 🙂 and I agree, it is so sad that so many pressures are put on kids now.

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    • I’m so glad you enjoyed the post, Rachael! It is such a comfort to me, as well, to realize that the creator of the universe accepts me as I am–today. And thank you for sending positive vibes! It is crazy, but I am feeling a lot of peace about the whole situation. And THAT is a huge blessing 🙂

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      • I know, I am totally the same! I know in my head that God loves me for who I am, but sometimes it doesn’t sink in 🙂 I just got to keep telling myself He does and hopefully it will sink in!

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  5. I so identify with this post! When I get tired or overwhelmed I can lose my composure as well, and I end up feeling like I’m not good enough or not worthy of my family. The only thing that seems to help me is apologizing to them as soon as I feel able. The sweet forgiveness of my toddler especially helps me to heal and strengthens my resolve to do better next time.
    PS – sounds like a tough and busy time for you! Keep strong; you’re doing great.

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    • Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, Tricia. I completely agree, when we don’t feel at our best it is easy to feel like we aren’t good enough for those around us. I’ve felt like that with my son and husband at times. And aren’t children amazing at how lovingly they forgive? It is such a beautiful example to me of moving on and not letting small mistakes get in the way of love we share with family.

      Thank you for your encouragement! Despite the unpredictability of life, I am feeling so much peace. It is definitely a blessing from God, because without Him, I think I’d be a frenzied mess! Haha thank you again for sharing what helps you! 🙂

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  6. I’ve been quite unwell recently and have felt so worthless not being on top of things around the house, like cooking and cleaning. Yesterday as I sat in the house all by myself I examined the ‘mess’ and thought, “gee, it’s surprisingly not that bad!” My husband and kids have really been picking up the slack and it made me feel like it’s actually ok to rest atm and nurture myself back to health. Now I’m reworking that inner monologue to turn the feeling worthless to feeling blessed!(BTW – what a lovely photo!) =)

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    • Jen, I’m so glad that you mentioned reworking your thoughts from worthless to blessed. I feel like that is the key to being able to accept Gods love for us that never changes. We have to be able to see our faults but then look at how He is picking up the slack… and then feel blessed.

      I’m so sorry you haven’t been feel well. It is definitely hard to feel like you can’t contribute. I will be sending healthy and blessed thoughts your way! 🙂

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  7. Marla, I love the way you used the situation to remind yourself of such a beautiful truth! How often I allow my own or another’s actions to define me. This is such a powerful message I needed to hear.

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    • Thank you so much, Sasha! I appreciate your encouragement. And isn’t life with our family the best way to learn these beautiful truths? Being a mother, wife, daughter and sister stretches me in so many ways, but I’m so grateful for the lessons it is teaching me. I’m glad you enjoyed the post and hope you are getting settled into your new place! 🙂

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  8. I lost my composure with my boys the other day too, and felt so incredibly horrible and so small (and I didn’t have the excuse of buying a house and moving for the second time in a month, like you!). This is an awesome post. And I love that quote…I remembered hearing it, couldn’t quite place it, so I’m glad you added a link. Such a good talk! It’s easy to forget our worth some days and feel like nothing. But we are worth more than we will ever know!

    I hope the moving saga gets better for you soon. Living in limbo is so stressful and exhausting! Thinking of you during your house adventures!

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    • Chelsi, thank you so much for sharing your experience. Honestly, some days as a mother we just get to our wits end! I’ve lost it before with Parker when nothing “big” had really happened that day. It was just the perpetual little annoyances that built up inside. And it is amazing how small and bad we can feel after losing it. It makes me so grateful for the atonement, so that I can start fresh, apologize, and move forward.

      Thank you for thinking of me during our house adventure. It means so much to me. I feel like my blogging friends really are helping me through this move so much. You are a constant when I’m leaving friends and trying to make friends, only to leave… again. But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel! We just put an offer on a condo and it was accepted last night! We should be moving in exactly 4 weeks. I’m glad I didn’t unpack all of my boxes from our last move! 🙂 Hopefully we can settle in and not move for a couple years!

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  9. Sharing this with my local group of mommas. It’s absolutely true. Our self worth does not change based on life’s little ups and downs. We are amazing and we need to embrace the person we are 🙂 Thank you for the reminder!

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    • I’m so honored that you would want to share! I hope your group enjoys the read. I love what you said “our self worth does not change based on life’s little ups and downs.” How true that is. So hard to remember too! Thank you for sharing and stopping by my blog! 🙂

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    • Thank you for stopping by, Breanne! I’m glad you enjoyed the post. And I completely agree, sleep makes me feel like a new person in the morning (if I get enough) 🙂 And thank you for the encouragement with my move, I so hope that it is rewarding in the end! Thank you again for sharing your thoughts!

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  10. Pingback: Muses & Mothers | The Baby Playbook

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